usatvline Ch. 80 - Have You Eaten? If Not, Eat My Slap!
Ch. 80 - Have You Eaten? If Not, Eat My Slap!
Charge provided the propulsion, Violent Sitting Kill provided the hang time, and Wind's Breath controlled the direction.Contract spirit skills weren't as rigid as in video games—there was no target-lock mechanic. But if you combined them creatively, you could absolutely develop new combat techniques.
Contract spirits of equal strength would produce wildly different results in the hands of different Beast Tamers.
The Flying Pig's flight speed wasn't fast to begin with. To it, the slime rocketing through the air was basically a flesh missile.
BOOM!
The Flying Pig let out a miserable shriek, feeling like its entire body was about to be smashed apart. It slammed straight into the Beast Taming Arena's wall.
"Badass, Chen Pi!" Zhang Dali hadn't expected the tables to turn so suddenly.
The slime wasn't letting up. Riding the momentum of its charge, it rolled over to the downed Flying Pig.
"Goo-gii! Goo-gii!"
The giant ball rolled back and forth, crushing the Flying Pig from every angle with zero blind spots.
"SQUEEEAL!!!"
Agonized screams echoed through the Beast Taming Arena. Now THAT was what you called a pig being slaughtered!
"You dare hurt my contract spirit?!"
Zhu Dabai finally snapped out of it and recalled his half-dead Flying Pig to his Beast Space.
His fists clenched tight, his face ashen. He'd already been on the verge of coughing up blood from failing the exam.
Now the Flying Pig had taken such heavy damage. If it relied solely on natural healing, it would probably be stuck in a weakened state for months—which was devastating for a soon-to-be third-year student.
On top of that, he'd have to spend a fortune at a high-end Beast Taming hospital for treatment.
The slime returned to Chen Shu's side. Both parties fell into a standoff.
Suddenly, Chen Shu smiled warmly. "By the way, have you eaten?"
"??"
Zhu Dabai had been absolutely furious, but this question threw him completely off.
Chen Shu suddenly sprinted forward. "If not, eat my slap!"[1]
"Stop!"
"Motherfucker! You've crossed the line!"
The four bodyguards saw what was happening and their expressions turned fierce as they moved to intervene.
But the Golden Slime came rolling over and instantly left all four seriously injured. Ordinary people going up against a contract spirit—wasn't that just asking to die?
SMACK!
Chen Shu's palm sent Zhu Dabai flying.
He was going to claim his system reward, AND dish out the slap this bastard deserved. That was called proper etiquette!
"Have another taste of my Tathagata Palm!"[2]
Zhang Dali ran over too and gave Zhu Dabai a vicious slap of his own.
The guy hadn't been polite from the start—he'd had his bodyguards punch Zhang Dali several times. His back still ached from it. How could he not get payback?
After a thorough beating, Zhang Dali felt his mood lift considerably.
"Ahh, that felt good!"
Zhang Dali let out a long breath, feeling like even the pain in his body had lessened.
"From now on, learn to read the room! Know who you can and can't mess with, got it?"
The two dropped their tough-guy lines, dusted off their hands, and left the Beast Taming Arena.
But when they opened the door, a man in a black t-shirt happened to appear right outside.
Zhang Dali's pupils contracted, though he kept his expression neutral.
Chen Shu noticed it too. He showed no sign of panic—in fact, he smiled and nodded politely at the middle-aged man.
The two calmly walked past him.
RUN!
The next second, both of them broke into a dead sprint.
"Holy shit, you noticed too?" Zhang Dali looked at Chen Shu, running so hard he was practically using the strength he'd saved up from breastfeeding.[3]
"No shit! He looks at least thirty percent like that fatty!"
Chen Shu cursed internally. He hadn't expected the family to show up so fast.
After running for a while, both of them couldn't help but complain. This goddamn Beast Taming Arena—why'd they build it so freaking huge? They were basically wasting the Education Department's resources!
The two griped the whole way, having never felt like the path beneath their feet was this long.
"Stop right there!"
Just then, an icy voice rang out.
Zhu Xuan's expression was cold, with fury flickering in the depths of his eyes.
The moment he'd stepped into the arena's competition hall, he'd spotted Zhu Dabai lying on the ground. Obviously, he knew who the culprits were.
"Only idiots stop!"
Chen Shu and Zhang Dali kept sprinting, completely ignoring Zhu Xuan.
"ROAR!"
At that moment, a grey trunk came sweeping toward them with incredible speed.
"Shit! He really is a Black Iron rank Beast Tamer!"
Chen Shu wasn't afraid of the guy being some big shot—he was afraid of him being a powerful Beast Tamer.
Seeing that there was no way to dodge the trunk, he instantly pulled out his phone and dialed Fang Si's number.
"Hey! Chen Pi, where are you two?"
"Huff huff huff... @#$%..."
"???"
"Huff huff..."
The call was abruptly cut off. Fang Si sat in the cafeteria completely baffled—was that even human on the other end?
At that moment, Chen Shu felt the world spinning around him. His phone had already clattered to the ground.
The trunk had wrapped around both of them, their organs churning, before they were slammed hard onto the floor.
"You little brats!"
Zhu Xuan had his Rift Earth Elephant carry the two of them back to the competition hall where Zhu Dabai was.
This was the Beast Taming Arena. Contract spirit usage wasn't restricted here. As long as you didn't kill anyone or cause permanent injuries, pretty much anything went.
Hopefully Fang Si can find us. Otherwise we really capsized in the gutter today![4]
Chen Shu sighed. He hadn't expected to be this unlucky.
"Dabai, are you alright?"
Zhu Xuan looked at Zhu Dabai on the ground.
"Uncle, I'm fine. I want to kill both of them!"
Zhu Dabai coughed a few times and slowly got up. Though his face was swollen, his eyes were full of hatred.
It was lucky he'd asked his uncle to pick him up after the exam—that's the only reason they'd managed to corner Chen Shu and Zhang Dali.
"Don't say such stupid things! You want to pay with your life?"
Zhu Xuan frowned and scolded him.
He hadn't expected his nephew to be this useless. Not only had he lost to the other guy, he was running his mouth. Did he think Huaxia's Beast Taming Laws were just for show?
"Your body isn't seriously hurt, is it?" Zhu Xuan asked.
By now Zhu Dabai had calmed down. He definitely didn't want to pay with his life for these two.
"I'm fine, but the Flying Pig..."
Zhu Dabai summoned his contract spirit. The Flying Pig's eyes were tightly shut, blood constantly seeping from its mouth, its body twitching occasionally.
"Hurt this badly?"
A cold glint appeared in Zhu Xuan's eyes. The other side really hadn't held back.
Zhu Xuan walked over to the two of them and looked down. "Two hundred thousand yuan for medical expenses! Any problems?"
"Isn't that a bit much? Two hundred thousand could buy a whole lot of pigs."
Zhang Dali hadn't expected the other side to make such an outrageous demand. He wanted to haggle.
BOOM!
The Rift Earth Elephant beside them stomped down hard, making the entire floor tremble.
Chen Shu instantly changed his tune. "I think that's completely reasonable! A Flying Pig is such a rare species—totally worth that price!"
"But neither of us have any money. We'll need to make a call and have someone bring it over."
"You don't even have two hundred thousand?" Zhu Xuan frowned. They really were nobodies from some small city.
"Do you have relatives in the Capital?" His eyes showed caution. They'd better not have any backers.
Chen Shu explained, "One older sister. She's studying at a university in the Capital."
"Then have her bring the money over!"
Zhu Xuan relaxed. Whether it was a Beast Taming university or a liberal arts university, the Capital had countless of both. He hadn't even considered Huaxia Academy.
"Dali, make the call. My phone got smashed."
Zhang Dali pulled out his phone and called Fang Si.
"Dali! Where are you two?!" Fang Si's anxious voice came through.
Zhang Dali said, "Spirit Chef University's Beast Taming Arena, Competition Hall 07."
Something really did happen!
Fang Si's expression turned serious. She didn't believe for a second that those two had gone to the Beast Taming Arena for sightseeing. They must have gotten into a conflict with someone.
She turned to the girl beside her. "Qingyi, let me borrow your Swift Wind Sparrow. I've got something urgent!"
[1] "Have you eaten?" (吃了嗎) is one of the most common casual greetings in Chinese, equivalent to "How are you?" Chen Shu subverts this by following with "If not, eat my slap!" (沒吃的話吃我一記大嘴巴子), turning the friendly greeting into violence comedy.
[2] Tathagata Palm (如來神掌) is a legendary kung fu technique from classic Hong Kong martial arts films, most famously parodied in Stephen Chow's movies. Zhang Dali is dramatically naming his slap after this ultimate technique.[3] "Using the strength saved up from breastfeeding" (吃奶的勁) is a Chinese idiom meaning to exert every last ounce of strength, implying they're using energy accumulated since infancy.[4] "Capsized in the gutter" (陰溝裡翻船) is a Chinese idiom meaning to fail at something that should have been easy, or to be defeated by an unexpectedly weak opponent—the opposite of their current situation where they're the underdogs.