usatvline Ch. 84 - Is This What Saving All Beings Feels Like?
Ch. 84 - Is This What Saving All Beings Feels Like?
"Dr. Chen is now online!"[1]Chen Shu slipped on the white coat, and his expression instantly became solemn and dignified.
He strutted right into the consultation room and sat down in the doctor's chair.
"Dr. Wang had an emergency, so I'll be filling in for now. You can call me Dr. Chen!"
Chen Shu delivered this with a completely straight face.
No one would ever imagine someone had the audacity to impersonate a doctor at Huaxia Hospital.
"Doctor, why aren't you wearing an ID badge?"
The first woman in line spoke up, looking puzzled.
"?"
Chen Shu froze for a second. Sharp eyes on this one.
But his ability to think on his feet was no joke. He cleared his throat and said, "I'm a temporary substitute. Just rushed over from home—left in such a hurry I forgot it."
"Alright! Tell me about your condition... er, your contract spirit's condition!"
The woman nodded and summoned a pure white jade-like rabbit.
"Doctor, my contract spirit has been running hot lately and seems a bit agitated."
Chen Shu reached out and stroked the rabbit's fur. Cute little thing...
"No big deal. The weather in the Capital has been too hot lately. Just let it enjoy some AC at home."
"??" The woman looked confused. "That's it?"
Chen Shu nodded. "That's it. If the condition worsens, recall it to the Beast Space."
"Next!"
Medicine. Sometimes it's just that simple.
Chen Shu suddenly remembered something and added, "Oh right, come back tomorrow morning for a follow-up."
Contract spirits had incredibly strong vitality. Plus, with the Beast Space being such a broken feature, as long as they didn't die on the spot, they could slowly recover inside.
Zhu Dabai's contract spirit had been beaten half to death, right? But as long as it stayed in the Beast Space, it would fully recover in about six months.
Beast doctors mainly just shortened recovery time. A one-day delay wouldn't cause any real problems.
"Doctor, hello. My contract spirit has been a bit emotionally unstable lately."
"No big deal. Go home and show it some dirty movies.[2] Help it relieve some stress. It'll be fine soon."
"??"
"You've got question marks written all over your face. I'm a doctor—trust me!"
Chen Shu spouted complete nonsense with absolute conviction, making it impossible not to believe him.
"Oh, and if the condition worsens, recall it to the Beast Space. Remember to come back tomorrow for a follow-up."
Chen Shu reminded each patient of this, since his only goal was to send them away.
If there really was a contract spirit that would die from a one-day delay, they'd be at the emergency ward, not here.
At first, the other patients watched with skeptical eyes. Is treating contract spirits really this simple?
But Chen Shu played the part so convincingly—he was like a veteran doctor with decades of experience.
Watching patient after patient leave satisfied, a sense of fulfillment rose in his eyes.
Is this what it feels like to save all sentient beings?[3]
The queue grew shorter and shorter. In the blink of an eye, fewer than ten people remained.
A man walked up. "Doctor, my contract spirit has been off its food lately."
Chen Shu's eyes rolled thoughtfully. He let out a sigh. "I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"
The man's heart tightened. "The good news."
"I've decided to name this disease after your contract spirit."
"???" The man's eyes went wide with disbelief.
How is that good news?!
Also, it just has a poor appetite—why are you making it sound so serious?!
Chen Shu said, "For now, keep it in the Beast Space and monitor the situation. Come back tomorrow for a follow-up!"
"Next!"
A student walked up. "Doctor, my contract spirit has become a spray warrior[4] lately—constant diarrhea."
Chen Shu patted the contract spirit's head and spoke again.
"I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear?"
"Uh..." The student looked baffled, then tentatively said, "The bad news."
"Your condition is a bit serious. You might need a full examination to get a proper diagnosis. Come back tomorrow for a follow-up."
"And the good news?"
"The good news? Hold on a moment."
Chen Shu glanced at the queue, which was almost at its end, and pulled out his phone.
"Hey, Sister Fang Si, get over here. Oh, and bring me something..."
"You wait here for now. Next!"
Chen Shu ran through the remaining patients with a flurry of looking, listening, asking, and pulse-taking—then sent them all on their way.
A normal doctor would have needed the whole day. Chen Shu finished in under two hours.
"Man, that was exhausting!"
Chen Shu stood up and stretched.
Before long, Fang Si and Zhang Dali arrived at the hospital.
The distance wasn't that far. If they'd come any later, they might have missed it.
"How'd you finish so fast?"
Fang Si looked puzzled. Had Huaxia Hospital lost its popularity or something?
"Chen Pi, why are you wearing that..."
"Shh!" Chen Shu made a gesture, then took the megaphone from Zhang Dali's hands.
"You, come here. Here's the good news."
Chen Shu pointed at the last patient and pressed the megaphone's play button.
"GOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS! This store is having a clearance sale! Everything half off! Everything half off!"
"GOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS!..."
"There. Now you know the good news, right?" Chen Shu said with a completely serious expression. "Head on home. Remember to come back tomorrow for a follow-up."
The student's eyes went wide, black lines forming on his forehead. He looked Chen Shu up and down, then finally left.
So THAT'S the good news?!
'Reward obtained: Violent Sitting Kill +1'
Chen Shu calmly removed the white coat.
"Chen Pi, you?!"
Fang Si and Zhang Dali both wore stunned expressions. They'd seen outrageous things before, but nothing this outrageous.
"You're really something else.[5] Aren't you worried about delaying people's treatment?"
"Relax, I know what I'm doing. I told everyone to come back tomorrow for a follow-up."
Chen Shu shrugged. "With the Beast Space, nothing can go wrong. Besides, most of them just had minor issues—they might even be fully healed after a day in there."
"Why are rich people in the Capital like this? Contract spirit has diarrhea, loss of appetite—and they run to Huaxia Hospital for it?"
Just as the three of them were talking, a doctor in a white coat walked in.
His face showed surprise. "Huh? Where are the patients?"
Fang Si and Zhang Dali both looked at Chen Shu. He just shrugged casually. "Beats me."
"Are patients really this impatient these days?"
The doctor shook his head, not thinking much of it. Well, at least I get to rest today.
But what he didn't know was that tomorrow's patient numbers would drive him to despair...
Because follow-up patients didn't need to pay for new registration slips—they would all pile up together with tomorrow's new patients.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" the doctor asked with a smile.
Fang Si summoned the Frost Giant Dragon's head, and the temperature in the consultation room instantly dropped.
"A dragon?"
The doctor's eyes went wide with shock.
Beast Tamers with dragon-type contract spirits were always rare. Even Huaxia Hospital didn't see them often.
[1] "Dr. Chen is now online" (上線) - Gaming/livestream terminology for "logging in" or "going live." Chen Shu frames his medical fraud as an esports event.
[2] "Dirty movies" (小電影) - Chinese euphemism meaning "little movies," commonly understood to refer to adult content. Chen Shu's absurd prescription for an emotionally unstable contract spirit.
[3] "Saving all sentient beings" (普度眾生) - Buddhist concept of universal salvation, where enlightened beings save all creatures from suffering. Chen Shu ironically experiences this enlightenment feeling while committing medical fraud.
[4] "Spray warrior" (噴射戰士) - Chinese internet slang for someone suffering from explosive diarrhea. Military terminology applied to bowel dysfunction.
[5] "Really something else" - Translation of 奪筍 (duó sǔn), modern internet slang literally meaning "bamboo shoot stealing," used to describe outrageously savage or unbelievable behavior.